Today I was reminded of the value of openness. The value of having a network of people online, some close friends, some passing acquaintances, but all who embody openness.
I learned the value of making myself vulnerable by sharing my frustrations as a parent… and how just knowing that other people feel it, too, have dealt with it, too, is just so helpful and affirming.
If you have all kinds of chaos and stress in the morning getting your kid to school, take a look at the thoughtful responses I got today ALONE!
There were two tweets and each has a different set of replies. I tried to thank each person individually…big apologies if I missed yours but I will probably have given it a heart at least!!
Twitter moms. Tips please on helping your kid get to the school bus on time?— ℳąhą Bąℓi, PhD مها بالي 🌵 (@Bali_Maha) February 19, 2020
I've tried sleeping earlier, waking earlier, dressing in bed…
She usually takes time to be awake enough to have breakfast/dress… and often has a tantrum (she's 8!!) 10 mins before bus arrives
The reasons for tantrum vary… I guess possibly as soon as we start to feel tense that she has only 10 mins for the bus to arrive, so instead of hurrying up she halts and gets angry or starts crying.— ℳąhą Bąℓi, PhD مها بالي 🌵 (@Bali_Maha) February 19, 2020
Advice from ppl who have seen similar please. If ur luckier don't rub it in
Summary of some key findings 🙂
- Almost every parent has a child who is like that (I asked only ppl w experience to respond, tho, so… biased sample)
- It may take time to find the balance
- Creating a schedule/routind, involving the child in making it or problem solving, maybe making schedule on a colorful clock or board or something
- Checking if something is bothering her in school or bus. Giving her something fun to do on the bus – turned out she has been doodling and writing in a notebook last week (I know from many signs and talking to her teacher that school is 99% ok… inshallah)
- Remember that her sense of time is different from mine
- My stress gets to her. Try not to stress or show stress. Ummmm
- Gamify it. If I do this, I’ll post details here!
- This will pass. Even if she remains a chronically late/frazzled person, she will survive and can succeed in life inshallah
- Someone created a playlist of songs suitable for the different steps!!
So here is my plan
- Ask her to make a plan/routine with me 😉. Plan includes order of routine with time, and incentives for enjoying bus.
- Document the plan on a colorful board
- Decide together on a reward for 5 days of not-late-for-bus days in a week. Or some more intricate gamified system.
- Prototype/test for 2 or 3 weeks
- Re-evaluate the situation if she (we?) keeps missing the mark. May need to modify the plan