Reflecting Allowed

Maha Bali’s blog about education

The Value of Openness for Parenting

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Today I was reminded of the value of openness. The value of having a network of people online, some close friends, some passing acquaintances, but all who embody openness.

I learned the value of making myself vulnerable by sharing my frustrations as a parent… and how just knowing that other people feel it, too, have dealt with it, too, is just so helpful and affirming.

If you have all kinds of chaos and stress in the morning getting your kid to school, take a look at the thoughtful responses I got today ALONE!

There were two tweets and each has a different set of replies. I tried to thank each person individually…big apologies if I missed yours but I will probably have given it a heart at least!!

Tweet 1:

Tweet 2:

Summary of some key findings 🙂

  1. Almost every parent has a child who is like that (I asked only ppl w experience to respond, tho, so… biased sample)
  2. It may take time to find the balance
  3. Creating a schedule/routind, involving the child in making it or problem solving, maybe making schedule on a colorful clock or board or something
  4. Checking if something is bothering her in school or bus. Giving her something fun to do on the bus – turned out she has been doodling and writing in a notebook last week (I know from many signs and talking to her teacher that school is 99% ok… inshallah)
  5. Remember that her sense of time is different from mine
  6. My stress gets to her. Try not to stress or show stress. Ummmm
  7. Gamify it. If I do this, I’ll post details here!
  8. This will pass. Even if she remains a chronically late/frazzled person, she will survive and can succeed in life inshallah
  9. Someone created a playlist of songs suitable for the different steps!!

So here is my plan

  • Ask her to make a plan/routine with me 😉. Plan includes order of routine with time, and incentives for enjoying bus.
  • Document the plan on a colorful board
  • Decide together on a reward for 5 days of not-late-for-bus days in a week. Or some more intricate gamified system.
  • Prototype/test for 2 or 3 weeks
  • Re-evaluate the situation if she (we?) keeps missing the mark. May need to modify the plan

Whatcha think?

One Comment

  1. Loved this Maha. Can def relate to this (as the parent of a grade school child w/ early morning bus pick-up). Lots of your ideas sound great & have worked for us. Regarding the reward: we tell him ‘if you’re ready before it’s time to go, we can learn about something together’

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