Reflecting Allowed

Maha Bali’s blog about education

Multiple me #poem

| 2 Comments

Reading Time: 2 minutes

You can’t make me better
You can’t make me worse
You can only make it harder
To be who I am

You can’t control my life
You can’t change my habits
You can’t change my thoughts
You can only make me feel bad
About who I am

I am a mom
Some days its overwhelming
Sometimes it’s me
But it’s not all I am

Being a mom
I stopped sleeping
With no sleep
I started tweeting
And my tweets
Led to MOOCs and blogs
And an online me

The online me
Is mainly nocturnal
Mainly liberated
Very liberating
Highly emotional
Highly connected
Always connecting

I can’t live without it
It’s not peripheral to me
It is an essential part of my story
But it’s not all I am

I am a teacher
It’s how I was born
It is what I crave
What I enjoy
What I cannot help to do
To be
But it’s not all I am

I am a daughter
Not always the best
I try when I can
But keep failing the test

I am a wife
Whatever that means
After motherhood
It’s something else

I go to work
I smile and laugh
I feel the warmth
But I feel the pain

You don’t know me
But you know parts
Of multiple me

You can’t see me
You don’t understand
Multiple me

And so you cannot control
What you don’t even know
Exists
You cannot stop me
From writing this

You cannot silence me
You cannot tell me
What to do
How to do it
When to do it

You cannot tell me
What my priorities are
Because you do not know
What my life is

You only know
What you know of me
But you have no idea
Of multiple me

Identity evolving
Daily, hourly
How I see myself
My multiple me

You can’t change your angle
It will still make no sense
To you

You can’t stop me
From what makes me happy
Because there are multiple pathways
For my happiness

And I hold close to my heart
The ones that are mine
You cannot find
Multiple me

You don’t OWN me
You can’t CONTROL me
Multiple, multiple me

2 Comments

  1. Love the poem Maha. My Mother was an art teacher and independent person who was always there when needed as a Mom, but not to be taken for granted as “belonging” to anyone. Almost an impossible balance though I think in a time when women were expected to “return to the family” after the many roles they played during World War Two, it was natural to be more than one person.

    Actually, neither of my Grandmothers fit the ’50s image of the single dimensional woman-person popular in the media. They defined themselves.

    Thanks for this!

  2. Hi Maha

    I am reminded of Walt Whitman’s ‘Song of Myself’ (1892)
    http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174745

    “Do I contradict myself?
    Very well then I contradict myself,
    (I am large, I contain multitudes.)”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Follow

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: