I’m at my breaking point here. Seriously. Right at the edge of overflow.
Been teetering on the edge of this for at least a week and close to a month possibly.
Sometimes I think I don’t even have any more room in my mind to THINK.
Partly it’s somewhat that I somehow am involved in a big bunch of committees on campus. Ending up in so many meetings I don’t have time to do any work while I am at work (if you know what I mean) or to even prepare for those meetings. I currently prepare presentations and documents for work in like 15 minute bursts because that’s all the time I literally have that day. Then I see a document from our university outlining what everyone should be doing (faculty) of which I am the exception to everything. Teaching load? Not required of me as I am admin faculty but I do workshops and additional teaching which is good. Research? Not required of me as I am an associate professor of practice. Service is most of my job but of different kinds. But usually ur expected to be part of two committees at a time and (wince) I am part of something like 6?
And I just said no. Several times. To two important things. I actually withdrew from an edited book I was co-editing and had been planning on since I finished my PhD (Nov 2013), because publisher took SO MANY iterations on it until they approved it that many of the authors by then had moved on (but my co-editor and I offered to publish as articles in journal he is editor-in-chief of and I am editorial board….so at least there’s that).
And I withdrew from a sub-chapter for my mentor’s edited book. Because i had I really said yes coz I love him but it really isn’t my field of specialization and even tho i write crazy fast I can’t write or read fast when it’s something that isn’t my field at all, yeah?
And lots of personal stuff related to health of loved ones. But that’s just stress on mind and body but not… Proper cognitive load?
And then..omigosh i am about to start teaching. This Thursday. Thank God I have a long list of things I wanna do so I don’t have to think from scratch. But I will probably go on overdrive once I start teaching also.
And OpenEd is coming! This was really complicated to organize w 11 sessions and something like 30 guests and 10 onsite and 6 virtual buddies (at least). Join us for that. Ha. I didn’t even write Virtually Connecting. I didn’t organize the entire CONFERENCE of course. Just VC aspects.
And our CLT Symposium is coming. Sunday Nov 6
And International Games Day is Nov 21 and need to work w colleagues on that escape game thing. Woah. Big story there.
Gave so many workshops this semester which I love and energizes me but so many were new and co-facilitated so loads of work. But fun.
And the evolution of parenting as my kid grows up is interesting. I really need to write an activist mom educator article on homework and how Egyptian got it all wrong when they thought giving kids homework at age 4 and 5 was a good idea. It really isn’t. No really. I try to make homework (on weekends) a fun thing for her. Colors instead of pencils. Games instead of seriousness. Music while whe works (coz she’s like me that way). Making jello together coz this week we are writing the letter j. Opening our front door to see our house number coz it is a number we just wrote. Promises to go out and buy something like an egg surprise. Promises to go out and have fun w her friends later. Stuff like that. And still we get frustrated with each other because that’s not how I used to spend my weekend w my child. We used to paint. Or make colored eggs. Or danxe and jump in her room and play legos and play doh. Or sing and read. We still do but even the 30-60 mins it takes to get homework done just drains me and then I wanna make it up to her by making rest of the day extra fun. Which then drains me physically.
Just finished yday doing 41 reviews for a conference. 41! And they only accept like 12, and I learned a heck of a lot but those were LOTS of reading and judging on par with grading. Really. Woah.
And so much else, really.
Excited to be doing a webinar on Self as OER with Suzan Koseoglu again. This is via the Global OER Graduate Network. Same day as Open Ed which is cool. Last week was open access week, so 🙂
And so much more really. Writing this all down helped a bit but not really…doesn’t really capture what it is. Tho obviously the little homework thing is frustrating me. I was about to get into another rant. But i should write a rational post on it and do some activism and make a difference in this world instead of complaining. I will feel better then.