Yes Frances, of course we can see things differently. I think I was trying to say that our positionality (each of us) makes us see things differently. I do remember ur response and Sarah’s. i remember Maddie’s response “not you”. And it was not you who was creating the problem, from my perspective as well. I just wanted that to be clear. I don’t think you were perpetuating that underlying subtle elitism. But I do think you might not be seeing my view on it because of where each of us is coming from, and yes, that’s totally fine. It’s almost inevitable. And that’s why the autoethnography will have gaps, will always be partial (both incomplete and biased, as Ellsworth 1989 says). I just wanted to clarify where I was coming from. I mean, I guess I keep hoping we reach something, but it actually makes more sense that we explore it but still continue to not see it in its wholeness. And anyway lots of people involved are no longer part of the discussion, so… That,s all missing now, their hindsight. Will read ur post now