Hi Maha, Nancy White http://www.fullcirc.com/2014/11/24/the-fence-of-fear/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+fullcirc%2FkmDz+%28Full+Circle+Associates+Online+Interaction+%26+Community+Blog%29 was talking about fear in organizations in a recent blog and it had me thinking about the desire to belong as driving a “fear” of loss of membership. My major problems with my medical “helpers” are with those people themselves. As treaters of my disease they seem to be competent but they have rules of membership to qualify for their “care” and are constantly probing my cooperation and loyalty. It’s important to them that I feel vulnerable without their services and meet their obligatory social conditions of patient’hood.

I’ve always been an outsider. I like people and try and be helpful but don’t like clubs or social structures that separate and nominate some to being better. Fear of difference comes as not just from newness but in resistance to tacit agreements that hold organizations together. Not hearing or recognizing a person, and in your case Maha altering the story of who you are and what you’ve done, is an aggressive form of assaulting your autonomy in the form of “reminding” you of your organizational “place”.

In many ways this isn’t personal, it’s the organization speaking. It doesn’t matter though that it might be innocently unintentional. It hurts to be isolated but it hurts worse to become what is wanted for the worthless acceptance offered.