Agree with Maureen that his is an interesting angle to look at the subject. Though this entirely what would not do: don’t take it on as your own problem. There are people who inflate themselves by this passive aggressive behaviour. Both my Daughters and Leslie have gone through this. It seems to be gender based though I get it too and the commonality is we won’t be silenced or put up with pettiness. We are not to be controlled, silenced or pacified by this kind of crap.
Growing up in a family with genetic hearing defects there were surprisingly few misunderstandings. It’s about attention, respect and listening. If something you say hurts someone you stop it. Continuing along the same line means you intend to hurt, or by a very, very small chance you are not hearing.
My experience is the discrimination begins when both parties get frustrated by having to repeat things and stop talking altogether. They stay connected but get tired quickly. of the effort. That’s the sign of a disability wearing people down. Constantly NOT hearing is a behaviour of the ego–and not yours.