Perfect timing Maha. I’m booked for cancer surgery in my gut this Tuesday and my surgeon is a young attractive blond Polish woman with the same name as my oldest daughter Anna. She seems reserved and serious, like most surgeons, and comes highly recommended by my female GP. There’s a curious tension I feel from Anna’s office like I don’t trust her and I’ve been reminded over and over that she’s competent. Because my medical experiences have been disasters I tend to question everything and this seems to be mistaken as a form of “older male freaks out about female surgeon” when the fact is it’s been male doctors who have consistently brought me to near death (actually to death) by their idiocy.
I understand a Mom joking about daughter to marry off though she might like to talk to my younger daughter about how being underestimated and “cared for” by foolish males in positions of power really feels. To assign someone to dependency based on their appearance is unforgivable, a form of oppression and a waste of talent. Sometime we don’t have as much choice as we’d like but deserve as much as we can get.
Working in construction I did some air-conditioning jobs on strip-bars and spent time with the “exotic dancers” who were off work while we worked. These women had problems and most had been raped as girls but they were strong people and some were working through college using their good looks while they lasted. Few parents would wish this “career” on their daughters and lots of people held contempt for what they did but that doesn’t allow people to treat them like objects.
My doctor’s first name is Wendy and she must be 30 years younger than me. People freak when I tell them her name but she keeps me alive plus she just delivered my friend Jamie’s second son. She probably doesn’t care that her husband is just starting out as a physio-therapist or that they drive an old car and don’t have much money.