Agreed, Bonnie. It’s how it *should* be. But unfortunately isn’t.
Whenever my husband does his (minimal tho we had agreed to more) childcare ‘stuff’ and asks for ‘thanks’ (usually when i criticize) i tell him “i should not thank u, just as u should not thank me for having breastfed her, woken up w her every night since she was born, etc, because it’s our job as parents”
Motherhood takes sexism to a new level and patriarchal society kicks in suddenly. I noticed it then saw it written somewhere (either bell hooks ‘A will to change’ or in this book called Why have kids? – was reading both at same time so confused) basically book was saying even not-very-sexist ppl become a bit more patriarchal once a woman becomes a mom. Definitely seeing it happen to me. Big time