Maha, we did have some delay conceiving Anna as the first baby. Thermometers and ovulation cycles made us awkward and feeling like lab rats or subjects in an experiment. We recovered our relationship during the Lamaze classes and going through the process with other couples. The 29 hour labor was a test though (Anna was 9 lbs 6 oz and had her own plans from the start).

Do you think your trouble conceiving makes you more alert to your daughter’s health? I imagine the struggle to have her makes even unintentional suggestions that you are a sloppy mother sting all the more. And, people often don’t think before speaking.

I interpret the “uninvited” part of the phrase as more like unexpected or unpredictable. What it’s like to be a parent doesn’t make sense until you are one.