I think we may be afraid of direct contact obligating us to direct our gaze away from ourselves. (That sounds a bit grandiose!) so maybe we just don’t have enough time to give our attention properly so we try to substitute and don’t get it quite right. I’m sorry you aren’t getting the proper hospitality America can give and I appreciate your effort to not let things get broken more than they already are. Leslie and I have lots of friends in the States and it’s hard to know what say that’s kind when we’re feeling really impatient.