My psychologist refers to my medical mess as a kind of sampling of miracles. She Plains Cree First Nations and our minds don’t perfectly match on spirituality but the idea of lessons being forced on me does seem miraculous. Hard lessons maybe? So be it.

I will work out the oncologist problem eventually. Had I chosen to take my care at the main
clinic instead a closer partner clinic this may never of happened and I’d be obsessing about something less important:-) Something that seems unfair makes our minds work harder to explain it.

Or maybe I attract disaster? Or experiences search me out. The learning doesn’t stop though the drama can overload. At Christmas dinner I learned from daughter Lindsay I’d been put in an induced coma before heart surgery to keep me alive. Missed that except it explains a quick mental trip into a not-nice part of my brain.

There’s a lot of out there probably too attentive and aware for our own good. Mark mentioned the mainstream and being off it. The price of searching for the “real” isn’t likely to be easy or comfortable.

“To be an artist means never to avert one’s eyes.”
― Akira Kurosawa