I think it’s possible to teach empathy but each of us needs to look inside ourselves to find the logic of it. An outside consideration of “them” and “us” adds too many variables. Assuming we know ourselves we avoid building abstract “others” with motivations we create and put on them. This would include attributing good intentions or innocence which may not be real.
For me I know I make mistakes, do mean things and treat people with disregard. I’m most aware and of people who do things I find myself guilty of and though I don’t approve, this does feel like a form of empathy–a fellowship of human failure in a sense.
Forgiveness is the hardest thing I struggle with. Maybe empathy is more than fellow feeling that seems to have limited power to change the world anyway? Releasing ourselves from anger and bitterness may be more effective?